Chapter 15:
It was good that Kidd didn’t come. It was good that I was still alive.
But the absence of Kidd only made my fear intensify.
They say the calm before the storm.
Mentally exhausted, I stayed up through the night again and sprawled across the bed, completely drained.
I could have looked at Kidd’s absence positively.
He had promised to spare me until I fully seduced Seniel. So maybe Kidd simply trusted me and didn’t come to check.
“But that’s impossible.”
Kidd doesn’t trust anyone.
“Will I survive tonight?”
With only four days left until the stowaway operation, the path ahead felt impossibly long.
I pressed my fingers against my eyes. Knock, knock. Someone knocked at the door. Probably Seniel. It must be difficult to come all this way first thing in the morning just to check if I’m alive, but it was earnest.
“Bibi, it’s me. May I come in?”
I got up like a zombie.
“Yes, come in.”
Seniel appeared with his hair tied down. I lowered my hands that had been pressing my eyes. Pretending to act casual, I spread my arms slightly and shrugged.
“All good today, right?”
Relief washed over Seniel’s pale face. He must have already known I was alive from hearing my voice at the door, yet only when he saw me did he sigh in relief.
He covered his face with his hands—long, slender, beautiful hands.
‘Delicate hands… every time I see them, it makes me a little uneasy.’
I remembered the cute little replica I’d seen on the first floor—or at least I wanted to believe it was a replica. It had been absurdly cute.
Seniel slowly lowered his hands. I had expected him to be sobbing, but he wasn’t. Tears welled in his eyes, shimmering, but did not fall.
I had told him not to cry, yet not crying made me uneasy in its own way.
“If you want to cry, then just cry.”
I averted my gaze slightly from his restrained expression. It felt like he wasn’t crying because of what I had said yesterday.
I thought of nature documentaries I used to watch in reality. Whenever I saw animals suffering, I’d scream at the camera director to save them.
Now, I understood the director’s mindset. Just as one preserves the ways of nature, I had to preserve the rules of the original story.
“Of course, the fact that I’m trying to survive is already completely destroying the original story…”
But at least I wasn’t going to do anything shameless, like separating the main characters. That was enough to justify myself a little.
It was pitiful, but just like before, there was nothing I could really do for him.
And even though he seemed separate from Kidd, Seniel was Kidd in another form. I couldn’t just pity him entirely.
Without meeting his eyes properly, I spoke.
“Now that I’ve confirmed you’re here, you can go.”
“….”
I expected him to obediently say yes and leave, like yesterday. But I heard neither reply nor footsteps.
I wondered if he had something to say, so I looked at him again. Seniel opened his mouth hesitantly, then closed it.
When I gave him a look that silently asked why he wasn’t leaving, he finally spoke.
“I trust you, Bibi, but I think it’s better if I stay away tonight.”
“Why?”
Only after asking did I realize the reason for his words.
‘He knows that Kidd tends to go berserk especially on the anniversary of his father’s death.’
Seniel looked at me with deep, somber eyes after my sharp question.
“…I didn’t tell you in advance, but today is my father’s memorial day. On this day, Kidd becomes even more irrational than usual. So it’s better if I stay away…”
“Absolutely not.”
Without thinking, I grabbed Seniel’s wrist. There was no way I could let him go. To send him away now, while I was calculating every move carefully, would be like sending my own life away too.
I needed to show Kidd that Seniel was on my side. I had to show that Seniel trusted me and was developing affection for me.
Seeing me grab his wrist, Seniel was startled.
His eyes, previously sunk deep in gloom and guilt, opened wide.
“Absolutely not. Tonight, accept the flowers I give, go to bed without thinking about anything else. Nothing else—absolutely nothing else.”
I was scared he might do something reckless.
His desire to protect me was admirable, but I wanted to decline.
Holding his wrist, I urgently and firmly warned him not to do anything foolish.
“No self-punishment. No staying up all night to endure anything. I don’t think you’d do that, but still. Don’t write any pleas to Kidd. Absolutely not.”
“…Yes, yes.”
Seniel answered automatically, though his expression asked how I knew. My heart pounded nervously.
‘Would he have done everything if I hadn’t warned him?’
Seeing his innocent face, capable of doing everything, made my head spin.
I clasped both his hands with my own, filled with desperation.
“Ugh, what else is there… Anyway, none of it is allowed. Just like yesterday, go to the temple, come back, have dinner with me, and arrange the flowers I give you. Understand?”
Seniel pouted at my sharp tone.
“…Yes. Understood. …Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”
He seemed to sink back into guilt at his own incompetence. His broad shoulders drooped slightly.
Seeing a grown man look so dejected was unpleasant. Seeing a handsome man look defeated was unsettling.
I closed my eyes, pretending not to notice, but the shimmering tears in his eyes lingered in my mind. This time, I couldn’t ignore him completely.
“Don’t worry about it. You were trying to help me.”
“But I wasn’t of any help at all…”
“It’s the intention that matters. And you are already enough help. So cheer up.”
Whether Seniel was helping as Kidd or not was irrelevant—I decided arbitrarily that he was.
‘Seniel isn’t Kidd, so getting upset over whether he helps or not won’t change anything. Better to see him as a separate person.’
I patted his hand in comfort.
“Come on, let’s live diligently again. Got it?”
“…Diligently… yes. I will.”
He really was obedient and good.
Satisfied, I opened the door for him to go to work. Seniel smiled faintly as he left.
Though it seemed like a forced smile to cheer me up, it was still better than looking glum.
After sending Seniel off, I collapsed back onto the bed.
I wanted to lie down all day. Since being possessed by Bibi, I hadn’t had a single day of rest.
‘Other reincarnated girls in fantasy worlds are either doted on by their tyrant fathers, fangirl over the male side characters, or joyfully raise the main children… Why am I stuck in extreme survival mode?’
My body ached. My eyes grew heavy.
I still had some time before I had to meet Ezette.
Before sleeping, I asked the maid to wake me before lunchtime. As soon as I finished, I closed my eyes and drifted off.
Even sleeping, I didn’t feel my stamina recharge. This is why staying up all night should be avoided. I wanted to recommend everyone try an all-nighter at least once if they wanted to feel their body deteriorating in real time.
‘Am I talking nonsense because I’m so tired?’
I often stayed up for assignments, but never due to survival fear. That’s probably why I felt even weaker.
I groaned as I prepared to go out. I groaned again as I climbed into the carriage. The staff gave me strange looks.
The carriage started moving. The scenery outside rushed past. I stared out with unfocused eyes.
I thought leaving the mansion would wake me up, but relaxing only made me sleepier.
Besides, I was going to meet Ezette.
Suspicious as it was, the heroine was still my only potential helper.
‘I’m free from all the uncomfortable protective gear. Much better.’
I didn’t need armor to meet Ezette. I was dressed comfortably and freely.
I dozed off in the carriage until we reached the destination.
When the carriage stopped, I nearly hit my head on the opposite seat. I wiped the drool from my mouth and got out.
‘Being a fantasy world, the café is neat and nice.’
At first glance, it looked like a modern building. The details were different, but still.
I entered the café to find Ezette. I scanned the inside thoroughly, but no familiar face appeared.
Did I misread the time? No, I was correct. Where could he be?
I checked the group room just in case. The door had a transparent window, allowing me to see inside.
‘Found him.’
Ezette sat in the group room, wearing plain clothes suitable for commoners. Even with such humble attire, his face radiated light so brightly it couldn’t be missed.
Before opening the door, our eyes met. Ezette immediately stood and strode toward me, a tense expression on his face.
‘What on earth is happening?’
I tensed up too.
Had he realized Seniel was Kidd? If so, he wouldn’t have called me here in a public place.
Or was he planning to trap me? Did the heroine lack funds to track Seniel properly?
My thoughts raced as I stepped inside.
As soon as I entered, Ezette looked at me seriously.
I intended to ask him to sit and talk first.
Suddenly, Ezette’s height seemed to drop. My line of sight fell accordingly.
I couldn’t hide my shock.
“Sir Philaxis, what are you doing?”
Suddenly, Ezette knelt before me.
I had expected her to either threaten me or ask me to be an ally—but kneeling in front of me? Never imagined.
Ezette kept his head bowed, hiding his expression entirely.
“I need help.”
What kind of help required kneeling like this?
“Sit down, and tell me.”
He didn’t obey. Firmly, he continued to speak without moving.
“I’ve long forgotten the previous incident, so I won’t threaten you over it. I will do whatever you ask.”
“I need to hear why you’re doing this before I can respond, sir.”
Ezette slowly lifted his head. I drew a small breath in shock at his face.
‘What on earth is going on?’
His face was full of despair, misery, and urgency. More pitiable than a terminally ill person.
Ezette spoke slowly.
“I need money.”
