Chapter 18
“Uh… when did you arrive?”
I took a step toward the Duke without thinking, then staggered in place.
Because my legs still had no strength, my ankle twisted and gave out.
“Ah—!”
Before I could react, my body tilted to one side.
At that moment, the Duke rushed over and grabbed one of my shoulders.
Startled, I opened and closed my mouth without a sound.
When I looked up, I saw the Duke staring down at me with a stiff expression.
“I-I’m fine!”
Coming to my senses, I hurriedly pulled away and held up both hands.
But he didn’t let go of my arm. Instead, he let out a deep sigh and carefully guided me back to the bed, making me sit down.
“With a body that’s been lying down for three months, moving so hastily—”
The Duke stopped mid-sentence, his brows slightly furrowed. Then he muttered very quietly,
“…Never mind. I’ve seen that you’re all right.”
Without hesitation, he turned toward the door. I hurriedly asked,
“W-Were you… worried?”
The Duke stopped walking and turned back to look at me.
There was no emotion visible on his face. I began rambling nervously.
“Ah, um—Walter came earlier. He said you brought in a new physician for me, Father…”
“……”
“He said you personally brought him because he’s very skilled. Walter told me. But that person is—ah, no. That’s not what I meant to talk about. I’m sorry.”
I awkwardly looked away and stumbled over my words.
“Um… actually, before I collapsed—when Meyer did something strange to me. I really thought I was going to die then.”
“……”
“I mean… I was really relieved that you came to save me…”
My voice trailed off. Just before the room fell into silence, I hurriedly added,
“…But I really didn’t know! I had no idea he was doing something like that, so I just—!”
“I know everything.”
The Duke cut me off with a cold voice. I immediately shut my mouth.
He stood perfectly still, staring at me with hard eyes.
When I met his sharply shining gaze, my throat tightened for no reason.
‘This is bad.’
To be honest, I’d been anxious to death since earlier.
‘I should have stayed quiet, but instead I caused a huge incident.’
When I overheard that strange conversation in the mansion. When I first suspected Meyer.
I should have just told the truth.
The Duke was smart and powerful—maybe everything would have been resolved easily.
“I-I’m sorry!”
I shouted with my eyes squeezed shut.
No matter how bad our relationship was, he was the master of this mansion and my father.
And yet, I hadn’t told him anything about such a serious matter.
As a result, something terrible happened in the mansion, and I fell into a long sleep without being able to deal with anything.
‘…What an enormous burden this is.’
My face felt hot over and over again.
On top of that—
When I woke up, not three days or three weeks had passed, but three whole months. And for some reason, I was back at the territory castle instead of the capital.
‘There must have been a conflict with the temple.’
I bit my lip tightly.
With the sudden change in environment, and happiness I didn’t deserve, I had foolishly forgotten for a moment.
That Duke Tigris was one of the four dukes who supported the nation.
That he was always walking on thin ice in political circles.
‘What should I do?’
If he’d been put in an awkward position because of me and practically exiled to his territory…
With a pale face, I lowered my head deeply.
That wasn’t the only problem.
What to do about Meyer was a huge issue as well.
Meyer was a criminal who had committed an unforgivable act against me, the Duke’s daughter. If he wasn’t punished, the prestige of House Tigris would fall into the gutter.
But punishing him meant—
‘We’d completely turn against the Order.’
The Frater Order was powerful. And recently, they’d even gained the trust of that famed Empress Grace.
According to Meyer, it might even become the state religion soon.
If they joined forces and held a grudge against the family, it would only be a matter of time before it became a direct blow.
My thoughts grew colder and colder.
‘I’d just sworn a few days ago that I’d behave properly from now on.’
Ever since waking up, I’d been thinking about how to resolve this, but I couldn’t find an answer.
And now, standing face to face with the Duke, only one fact floated clearly in my mind.
‘I’ve completely harmed the family.’
I should have stayed quiet no matter what. What did I think I could do on my own?
In the end, I collapsed without accomplishing anything and only caused trouble for the entire family.
Trembling with anxiety, I finally opened my mouth with a shaking voice.
“I… I was wrong. I should have told you beforehand. I didn’t think things through.”
“……”
Because the Duke said nothing, I blinked anxiously.
“B-But I really didn’t know he’d suddenly attack me like that…”
The Duke only continued to look down at me silently. Something welled up in my chest.
Even though we weren’t close, I liked that the Duke was there.
In my previous life, I’d never even seen my parents’ faces, so having them in this life felt strange.
‘Sometimes, he really felt like a parent.’
It wasn’t often, but every time we ate together, I felt it.
That he was matching my pace.
The words Ansen had said when I went to tell him I’d gotten leave also came back to me clearly.
‘Two days of leave? His Grace gives you fixed rest days. And do you know what he said, in that creepy way?’
‘What did he say?’
‘He told you to eat well and sleep well while working. Said someone was worried about you… I don’t even know who he meant.’
Honestly, I think I was happy every time.
My heart fluttered, and maybe I even hoped for something.
That’s why I didn’t want to be a burden.
I just wanted to quietly become a good, well-behaved daughter, like I’d told him before.
My fear of being kicked out of the house wasn’t a lie.
I’d seen many parents abandon their biological children. It happened to me, and there were plenty of kids like that in the orphanage.
Of course, brainwashing played a role, but the Duke and Selenea had lived hating each other for a long time.
On the day I first opened my eyes here, at Estellin’s birthday party, I’d heard people whispering.
‘Isn’t she the disgrace of the Tigris family?’
And then something like this happened again so soon.
When even biological parents abandon their children, who would love a troublemaking child they’d already fallen out with long ago?
Especially that cold and rational Duke.
‘…This was my chance.’
A chance for me to become someone’s family.
I knew better than anyone what happened when you grew greedy for things beyond your means.
Without realizing my tightly bitten lips had turned white, my shoulders shook.
“The temple… no, I mean, Meyer…”
Strange words kept spilling out.
Then, suddenly, the Duke took a step toward me. I reflexively shrank back.
But when I carefully looked up, I saw a strange expression on his face—not anger.
His tightly closed lips slowly parted.
“…Since earlier.”
“……”
“What exactly are you apologizing for?”
His jaw was tightly clenched. I looked up at him in confusion.
“Why do you keep saying things like that…”
At that moment, the Duke’s voice trembled slightly. I watched him uneasily.
His face showed a complicated expression, as if he were holding back emotions.
“If you’re wondering about Meyer’s whereabouts—he’s barely clinging to life.”
“…What?”
“He’s in the underground prison of the territory castle.”
My eyes widened.
So he’d tortured Meyer to show the family’s authority. That meant the relationship with the temple was completely ruined. No matter what, the family must have suffered some disadvantage—and if that was why he’d been pushed out of the capital…
“A-As expected, it’s because of me… I-I’m really sorry. Truly…”
“Enough.”
At the sudden voice, I slowly closed my mouth.
“Stop saying you’re sorry… please.”
The next moment, I froze when I looked at him.
The Duke’s expression had completely collapsed.
“Selenea. What you’re doing now… is blaming me.”
My eyes slowly widened, not understanding his words.
“What?”
“…Right. I failed to protect Hemera, and this time I let you fall into danger as well. Of course you’d resent me.”
After letting out a long breath, he covered his face with one hand. Then he slowly lowered his head.
A silence that felt eternal followed, and soon his broad, tense shoulders began to tremble helplessly.
I stared at him in shock, unable to move.
“That day… when I couldn’t protect Hemera…”
“……”
“If I could, I wanted to kill myself. I agonized over it countless times. But…”
The cold, rational face he always wore must have been a mask.
“Hemera appeared in my dreams every night…”
His voice broke painfully, and then he slowly collapsed to the floor. Because of that, I could see his face clearly.
From the Duke’s eyes—eyes I’d only ever thought looked frighteningly red—tears were pouring down without pause.
“…Ah, F-Father.”
I said it reflexively. Even to me, the word “Father” sounded unfamiliar.
But—
“Selenea, please. If you hate me, then curse me. Treat me coldly. But those words… saying you’re sorry—please.”
“……”
“When you say that, I can’t endure it anymore.”
“N-No. I don’t hate you.”
Still stunned, I muttered without thinking.
Even though I wasn’t the real Selenea, meeting the Duke’s eyes made the words leave my lips on their own.
“It’s not because I resent you or blame you… really.”
The Duke’s eyes wavered. As if possessed, I kept speaking.
“That was something that couldn’t be helped. Things don’t usually go the way we want anyway…”
“……”
“Please don’t cry…”
