Chapter 23
After crying my heart out, I felt even more drained. I was hungry. Only then did I realize I hadn’t eaten properly since morning. But the carriage was still moving at full speed.
I took some jerky out of my bag. Since everything was useless now anyway, I pulled out all the nuts and dried fruit as well.
I handed some food to the heroine—no, to Ronan. Remembering belatedly that he had skipped lunch because of me, I felt a bit guilty.
“Eat.”
“I’m fine.”
As usual, he tried to refuse, but I forced the jerky and a drink into his hands.
“They’re all useless now anyway. It’d be a waste to throw them away, so let’s just eat together.”
I tore into the jerky roughly. It was salty and good—and that made me sad again. I should have been eating this on the ship.
“I’m sorry about today. I ended up wasting your time.”
“Not at all. I had nothing planned today.”
No matter how much I ate, the hunger didn’t go away.
“Well… that’s at least a relief.”
Chewing on the jerky, I stared out the window. At some point, the rain had started again. Raindrops tapped against the glass, leaving long streaks behind.
“I’ll find some way for you to leave the country.”
“Thank you, but I’ll look for a way on my own.”
Since he wasn’t Ezet, Ronan’s help wasn’t really necessary. I had recited the heroine’s line about doing anything just to survive—so how could he not be the heroine? The absurdity of the situation made me angry all over again.
‘Is he really not the heroine?’
I still clung to a tiny sliver of hope. If you’re not the heroine, how am I supposed to escape?
I sighed. Even if Ronan were the heroine, this hopeless situation wouldn’t magically resolve. Everything just felt bleak.
“Two people are better than one.”
Ronan stubbornly insisted on helping. Seeing the seriousness in his eyes, it didn’t seem like he was saying it just to comfort me.
Was it because of the money I gave him?
“You said earlier you’d pay me back. You don’t have to. Just keep it.”
I said it to wipe away any sense of debt between us. Ronan frowned—a rare expression—as if he hadn’t even been thinking about the money.
“I’m not helping you because of money. I will repay at least part of it before you leave. But separate from that, I simply want to help you.”
‘I appreciate the offer, but how is he supposed to repay that much?’
Converted to real-world terms, it was probably tens of thousands of dollars. I planned to leave as soon as possible—how would he ever gather that amount in time?
Besides, it wasn’t even my money. It was Seniel’s—no, Kid’s.
I didn’t feel guilty about spending Kid’s money. The wealth in that mansion probably exceeded hundreds of billions anyway. What did a few million matter?
‘And it’s basically the price of my life.’
Why would I worry about the finances of someone threatening to kill me? I felt a bit sorry toward Seniel, but surely he would understand.
In any case, since Ronan insisted on helping, I just nodded. Do whatever you want.
‘I don’t even know how many more days I’ll live.’
For a moment I wondered if I should ask Ronan to protect me. But honestly, I doubted he could defeat Kid. His lean, muscular build made him look strong, but Kid was practically an overpowered character.
Rather than preparing two coffins, it was better if only I died. I didn’t want to live badly enough to sacrifice someone else.
My head throbbed.
The carriage neared the rental station. Judging from the address Ronan had given me before, he seemed to live around here. So I figured I’d drop him off and take another carriage back to the mansion.
‘If I went straight back to Seniel’s estate in this same carriage, pointless rumors might spread.’
Rumors like “the High Priest’s wife went to the dock and came back,” or worse, that she’d had an affair with a holy knight. I wanted to avoid all of that.
Before the carriage stopped, Ronan cautiously spoke.
“There’s something I’d like to ask.”
“Go ahead.”
“Why were you trying to stow away?”
I had wondered why he hadn’t asked sooner.
To anyone else, my life looked perfect. No reason to worry, no reason to flee to another country. I was married to a gentle, handsome High Priest, and even my family background was respectable.
When I hesitated, Ronan asked more carefully.
“Did something happen with the High Priest?”
I tried to remember how much I had told him. I hadn’t mentioned Kid at all.
“No. There’s no problem.”
Since he wasn’t the heroine and the stowaway plan had failed, I didn’t want to tell him the truth.
Ronan shook his head slightly, as if my answer wasn’t what he’d expected.
“…I happened to see you looking anxious at the wedding, and trying to run away. Is it related to that?”
I hadn’t expected Ronan to notice back then. I wondered if others had seen as well. But I shook my head again.
To Ronan, who was clearly worried about me, I gave a bitter smile.
“I just want to live. That’s all.”
“I don’t understa—”
The carriage screeched to a stop. The door opened. Without explaining further, I stepped out first.
I walked to another carriage station and rode back to the mansion.
As soon as I returned, I went straight to my room.
A maid saw me and gasped.
“My lady! What happened? Your clothes are…!”
The hem of my dress was filthy from running around in the rain. My hair had dried but was still a mess.
“I’ll prepare the bath right away!”
I didn’t feel clean enough to lie on the bed, so I sat on the sofa.
After the bath was ready, I washed up and changed clothes.
For a moment I wondered if I should put on my protective gear, but then tossed it aside. What was the point now, when my chances of surviving were practically zero?
I dragged myself to bed. My head was spinning. I felt feverish from stress. After getting soaked in the rain, I was sure I’d catch a bad cold.
My body trembled. Even buried under blankets, I felt cold.
‘This is the worst.’
I closed my eyes.
I drifted in and out of sleep because of the fever. Just as I was dozing off again, I heard knocking. It sounded a bit urgent.
“Bibi, it’s me.”
Ah… was it already evening? I’d been too out of it to notice. My vision was hazy from the heat.
I almost told him to come in, but stopped myself. I didn’t want to see Seniel right now.
Hearing no response, Seniel spoke again, sounding anxious.
“You didn’t come, so I was worried. May I come in for a moment?”
His voice made my head pound. I forced myself to answer.
“No. Don’t come in.”
There was silence, as if he was taken aback. I continued weakly.
“Let’s cancel dinner tonight. Please go back.”
“But…”
“I’m fine. Just go.”
He didn’t leave immediately. Only after several minutes did I hear his footsteps fade away.
I curled up again. My head felt like it was splitting.
Seniel lingered in front of the door for a long time before finally returning to his room. His chest felt tight and painful.
When he woke up that morning and found Bibi beside him, he’d almost fainted. The room was in complete disarray.
His blood ran cold. It was an even greater shock than waking up in the piano room before. His heart felt like it might stop.
Beside him, he heard calm breathing. Turning quickly, he saw Bibi sleeping peacefully.
But when she woke, she made no effort to hide her irritation.
He asked what had happened, but her answers made no sense to him. In the end, she told him to leave.
All day he couldn’t focus on work, worried about her. The messy room and Bibi, who appeared unharmed, kept flashing in his mind. He tried to remember what had happened the night before, but nothing came to him.
He waited only for evening, hoping he might finally get answers then.
As soon as he returned to the mansion, he headed to the dining room without even changing clothes. The piano that had been playing these past two days was silent. The quiet felt strangely unfamiliar.
He waited more than an hour, but Bibi never came.
A maid told him she had gone out earlier and returned in a terrible state. Since she hadn’t left again, she must be in her room.
He rushed there and knocked anxiously.
“Bibi, it’s me.”
No answer. He wanted to open the door, but didn’t dare. She’d already been upset with him that morning.
He tried again.
“You didn’t come, so I was worried. May I come in?”
“No. Don’t come in.”
Her voice was hoarse and weak. Was she ill?
He wanted to ask if she was okay. To apologize. But the words wouldn’t come. He knew empty apologies only hurt more.
“Let’s cancel dinner. Please go.”
“But…”
“I’m fine. Just go.”
Seniel stood there helplessly, hating himself for being unable to do anything.
The worst part wasn’t just his helplessness—it was that he couldn’t even comfort her. He could comfort a stranger, but not her. He didn’t feel he had the right.
For the first time, he felt a painful distance between them.
Back in his room, only yesterday’s flower sat in the vase. It shouldn’t have felt empty—but it did.
He knew Bibi had only given him the flower because of Kid. Even knowing its meaning, his heart felt endlessly hollow.
And as hollow as he felt, the pain inside only grew.
