Chapter 03
Wow, that was seriously close.
Dad looked at me standing suspiciously in front of the door and pushed up his glasses as he asked,
“Eve? Who was that?”
“Huh? Oh, um… not a he—hero, just a peddler. A peddler.”
“A peddler? Why would a peddler come all the way here… honestly.”
“Riiight? I mean, the villagers probably have way more money than us anyway, right?”
I broke into a cold sweat as I blocked the door so Dad wouldn’t try to open it.
Fortunately, Dad didn’t pay any attention to the tightly shut door, the women’s slippers left outside, or the so-called peddler who had just left.
‘Phew… thank goodness Dad is obsessed with weapons.’
Who knew the fact that he has zero interest in anything except weapons and me would actually help in a situation like this!
Leaving Dad behind as he busied himself preparing dinner, I quickly put the women’s shoes back into the shoe cabinet.
***
Alright, time to go sabotage business again today.
Completely unaware that his daughter had just eaten a full, delicious meal and was heading out to ruin his livelihood, Dad cheerfully saw me off.
“Have a good time, sweetie~ Watch out for bad people.”
“Mm.”
“And don’t go hitting people just because you’re annoyed, okay?”
“Mm, got it.”
Honestly, Dad acts like I’m some kind of thug.
I’m just a small, cute troublemaking employee who ruins his business.
“Okay, I’m really going now!”
Just then, Dad spotted something suspicious in the bundle I was carrying and grabbed the back of my neck.
“Ack—!”
“But sweetie, why are you taking this when you’re going out to play?”
He pulled out my Excalibur and asked with a puzzled look.
No! My Excalibur!
With my short limbs flailing, I jumped to snatch the sword back from his hand.
“Hey! Why are you taking it! It’s mine! Mine!”
“Why would you need this to go play?”
“Umm… b-because if I meet bad people, I need to teach them a lesson!”
I quickly came up with the most plausible excuse I could think of.
Did it work?
Dad looked between me and my Excalibur suspiciously, then handed it back to me with a meaningful expression.
“Alright, sweetie. Have a good time—and give Dad a kiss here.”
Smack!
I quickly kissed his cheek. Dad grinned like a fool and patted my back.
“Don’t go too far!”
“Okay, I got it—!”
With Dad’s cheerful send-off behind me, I left the house carrying Excalibur and a thick chunk of cheese—the tools for sabotaging his business.
Now then, where should I spread rumors about Dad today?
I felt a bit sorry, but thanks to my hard work behind the scenes, Dad would live longer.
Convincing myself that it was all for the best, I buried my guilty conscience.
After walking for about ten minutes—
I was passing through a forest path near a tavern.
That’s when—
Someone suddenly grabbed my shoulder roughly and spun me around.
“Ack—!”
“Hey, kid.”
What—who is this?
Instinctively, I clutched the Excalibur Dad had given me and looked up.
And saw the face of the man who grabbed me.
‘…Wait! This guy?’
A stranger.
Who is this old man grabbing the back of my neck like that? Only my dad is allowed to do that.
I glared at him with defiance.
When he called me “kid,” I thought he might be one of the heroes who came earlier, but—
He wasn’t.
Just a drunk.
‘Ugh, that smell!’
As he shoved his dirty face close to mine, the stench of alcohol hit me hard.
I scrunched my face in disgust and pinched my nose.
Ugh, what is this situation?
I should’ve taken another route.
Dad told me not to come this way because there are lots of bars nearby.
I should’ve listened to him.
Regretting not following Dad’s advice, I struggled to break free from his grip.
“Let go! Let go of me! If you don’t, I’ll scream!”
“Hey, kid. Uncle here doesn’t have money for drinks, you see? So I’ll just borrow this for a day. Heh heh.”
Instead of letting me go, the drunk man reached greedily for my Excalibur.
No!
Even though I always roll around in the market spreading rumors that Excalibur is a completely useless, terrible sword—
This is a sword my dad personally made and gave to me!
I hugged Excalibur tightly, refusing to let this stranger take it.
“You little—won’t let go? Hand it over!”
“N-no, you let go! It’s mine—!”
I clung desperately to the scabbard.
But I couldn’t match the strength of an adult man. I could feel my arms gradually losing strength.
‘Don’t let him take it!’
Cold sweat ran down my back at the thought of losing my precious Excalibur.
This is something my dad made for me—
“My precious sword!!”
To protect it, I slammed my head as hard as I could into the man’s groin.
“Agh—!!”
His scream echoed through the forest path lined with trees.
The man collapsed, clutching himself and trembling miserably.
‘Hmph, you should’ve let go earlier.’
I quickly grabbed Excalibur and tried to leave.
“Aagh—!”
If only another stranger hadn’t grabbed the back of my neck again.
“You brat… I tried to go easy on you…”
“Let go—!!”
Just my luck today.
Struggling, I clutched Excalibur even tighter.
The man I had hit earlier staggered toward me again, still holding himself.
“If an adult tells you to hand it over, you hand it over—!”
He stormed over and struck my head hard.
For a moment, my vision went white.
I blinked, unable to process what had just happened.
‘Did… did he just hit me?’
Even my dad has never hit me…
And this random man did?
I felt an overwhelming sense of injustice and anger.
Just as tears began to well up—
Flash—!
A rainbow-colored light burst out from Excalibur, which the men had grabbed.
“W-what the—what is this?!”
“Hey! If it’s glowing, it must be expensive!”
Well… it is expensive, but it’s not supposed to glow.
Why is it glowing?
And then—
Boom—!!
A loud explosion erupted from Excalibur, sending the men flying.
“Aaaagh—!!”
“Argh!!”
Amid the chaos, I was the only one unharmed.
Standing there blankly in the dust, I stared at my sword as it kept exploding like fireworks.
‘…It looks like I shouldn’t touch it?’
Wait, did this sword always have this kind of effect?
The men who had been blown away staggered back up and pointed at it again.
“Hey! Grab it! It looks valuable—!”
Um… isn’t your life more valuable than that sword?
Even I’m staying back because it looks like it might explode again…
I clicked my tongue as I watched them rush toward it like moths to a flame.
And then—
Whoosh—!
The sword suddenly flew back and landed perfectly in my hand.
‘…Huh?’
I stared down at Excalibur in confusion.
