Chapter 20: “I’m Not an Orphan”:
Every time the train stopped at a station, Liri clutched the old trunk she had tightly bound with straps.
Outside the window, she saw a group of gentlemen disembarking—men in neat suits and top hats.
Unconsciously, Liri reached into her pocket and touched the crinkling paper inside.
Usually, worthless scraps—laundry slips or grocery debts—tumbled around in her pockets, so she had thought to just take them out.
But what came out wasn’t a thin, rough slip; it was a thick, soft note with precisely folded corners.
Only then did Liri realize that it was the other note the maid had handed her earlier.
[In Act One, we met. — Room 301.]
The handwriting was beautiful—elegant and strong, like its owner.
The line on the note was a famous love poem, one familiar to lovers who exchanged letters.
It was probably meant to chastise Liri for not arriving at the appointed time and to apologize for the incident by the pond. But still—a love poem?
If anyone else saw this, they could easily misunderstand.
‘Are letters or telegrams being censored? Did the guest in Room 301 send this note because of that?’
The image of him—the dark gray eyes, the handsome jaw, and the large hands tapping on a cigar—came unbidden into her mind.
Liri tried not to think of him, instead imagining the play at Rotunda Hall. She pictured luxurious gold decorations, soft silk, and real props—not paper swords—moving on stage.
In the ominous, clattering train, that small thought became a comfort.
After six agonizing hours, Liri finally arrived in East Longfell.
“Sister!”
“Welcome, Liri.”
She ran into the convent and faced the nun lying in bed.
“You’ve gotten a bit thinner.”
“I was worried because I heard you were very sick. Are you okay? Where does it hurt?”
The nun smiled faintly at her relentless questioning.
“What about your work? Did you come all this way for nothing? Don’t worry—now I’m fine.”
Sister Volina kept reassuring Liri that she was okay.
“You say you’re fine while lying down like this?”
Liri couldn’t be completely relieved as she examined the nun. But upon seeing Liri, the nun seemed to quickly regain some energy.
She even listened while Liri recited the play’s script she had memorized. Liri read letters that had arrived at the convent and, taking notes of the nun’s words, wrote replies on her behalf.
“Tomorrow, let’s go to the city hospital together. Once we go there, you’ll surely get better.”
To prevent Sister Volina from arguing, Liri picked the most noticeable name from the bundle of letters.
“Oh, Sister! This one’s from Rose.”
Liri’s face flushed like a child who had just finished running.
Even Sister Volina, who had been sad when news from the adopted child Zizi stopped, brightened upon seeing the letter.
“My goodness, what does it say? I didn’t know this letter had arrived.”
Sister Volina made the sign of the cross, whispered a prayer of thanks, and then said:
“Hmm… Rose says she’s been in Londinium for a month. She’s been so busy that she could only write now.”
Liri began reading the letter aloud:
“Sister, I… am debuting in society… Little Rose! This can’t be…”
As she read, she added little exclamations. At last, after finishing the letter with a flushed face, she wiped a small tear.
[I always love you, Sister, and I think of Saint Margarita with longing. When I return to Londinium, I hope to see Sister Liri.]
“Sister, it feels like Rose suddenly became an adult.”
“Yes, Liri. Everyone grows up eventually. I thought only I was aging helplessly.”
Liri thought the nun’s small shoulders looked especially tiny.
“Oh, Liri. Look at me—I completely forgot to give you something when you came. My mind… Would you open the wooden box I left downstairs? I’ve finally sorted everything.”
The wooden box, as big as Liri herself, was more like a heavy cabinet with six drawers.
Each drawer held half coins, necklaces, rusted rings, and watches, organized with small tags.
“What is all this?”
“It was left with the convent when children were entrusted here. Like the necklace you wear, Liri. But almost no one came to claim them.”
They seemed like insignificant trinkets or toys a boy might have picked up from the street.
Yet to Liri, they were more precious than any sacred treasure, and she examined them carefully.
How much must the parents have hurt splitting these tokens?
“Look, Liri. I found your letters.”
Trembling, Liri searched between the bottom drawer and the piles of papers and letters.
“This is… the letter I held…”
She had occasionally imagined her parents’ handwriting. The first letter she held, trembling, seemed soaked in water, with ink smeared.
[As soon as things settle, I will come for Elizabeth, so please take care of her… Elizabeth is gentle and smiles easily… enclosed…]
Some words were illegible due to water stains, but she could roughly understand the content.
The pen scratched faintly, revealing only an “M.”
Marie? Margaret? Mason?
She couldn’t discern her parents’ names.
She brushed the paper lightly; it was twenty years old and seemed ready to crumble.
The letter had been written on scrap paper due to urgency. She wanted to learn more—these were the last traces her parents left.
Holding the letter up to sunlight, she could see faint typewritten words.
The ink ribbon may have been dry, making it hard to read.
“Morris Bank account…”
Not vital information, perhaps, but to Liri, even that was precious—a trace left by her mother.
“Thank you for finding me. I was gentle and smiled easily as a baby.”
Liri held the letter to her chest. Though it had no warmth, it felt as if it did.
‘Mom didn’t abandon me.’
It was a kind of signal.
A revelation that she no longer had to live as someone who simply waited. Sister Volina pressed her lips gently to Liri’s forehead.
“Mom must have had a hard time leaving me here, right?”
“No parent would willingly abandon a child as lovely as you.”
Liri hugged the nun tightly.
“Sister, can you see this clearly? Does the sunlight hurt your eyes at all?”
“Sometimes it’s blurry, like butter smeared on glasses.”
The doctor scribbled incomprehensible words on a sheet of paper. He seemed to be pondering something. Liri sat slightly apart, anxiously awaiting his response.
“Will the Sister go outside? If you expose your eyes to warm herbal steam, the fatigue will ease.”
He pointed to a room connected to the examination room. Volina stood, swaying slightly; Liri quickly held her arm, but the nun declined help.
“It’s just dizziness from the bright light.”
The doctor spoke seriously to Liri, who watched worriedly.
“Is there someone to care for the Sister?”
Liri gripped her skirt tightly.
“Is she really that unwell?”
“Not yet. But if left like this, her vision will worsen. At first, she’ll have trouble reading small letters, then even store signs will become illegible.”
“Isn’t there a way to fix it?”
“I’ll prescribe eye drops. If she applies them daily without fail, it won’t get worse. In this countryside, further treatment is impossible.”
The doctor added one more note to the pale, frightened Liri:
“It seems this is not just an eye issue—it might be a complication from the accident. I heard she suffered a major head injury.”
“Can it be treated in Londinium?”
“I can’t guarantee it, but if she intends to receive better care there, I can write her symptoms in detail.”
Waiting at the hospital door, the nun calmly asked:
“Liri, what did the doctor say?”
“You just need to put in the drops. But don’t move around too much.”
“At my age, how much can I really move?”
Volina frowned, and Liri spoke to soothe her like a child.
“The doctor said there’s a good physician in Londinium, so surgery should be possible.”
Liri didn’t mention the carriage accident. Talking about Sister Brigida would only cause pain for both.
“No, Liri. Donations have dropped since you came. Everyone thinks supporting the orphans in the capital is better.”
Once lost, donations didn’t return. Considering the convent’s financial hardship, surgery costs were astronomical. Sister Volina wouldn’t use donations for her own operation.
“Sister, I’ll go to Londinium to check the cost. Don’t say you won’t do it. I’ll find a way.”
Though Liri said it lightly, her heart was heavy.
How much would it take for Sister Volina to afford surgery in Londinium?
Even though the hotel paid better than others, barely covering her own needs, let alone funding an ad to find her parents.
Now she also had to think about paying for the nun’s eye surgery.
“If you work extra shifts, they pay more. But hardly anyone wants to do it.”
Remembering Summer’s words, Liri squeezed her eyes shut. She was already exhausted. Yet if more money was needed…
“Don’t worry about me. With the drops, the dizziness eases immediately.”
Noticing Liri’s concern, the nun overlapped her hands to reassure her. Liri tried to smile, but she couldn’t completely banish her worry.
