Chapter 26
‘I just want to faint.’
Wouldn’t it have been better for my life if I had simply drunk that poison yesterday and died? Why on earth had Kid listened to me? Did he nurse me back to health just so he could kill me while I was sane? Honestly, that sounded disturbingly plausible.
I carefully inched my body backward, trying to put more distance between myself and Seniel. I gently tried to move his arm that was resting on my waist.
The steady rhythm of his breathing suddenly stopped. Feeling a bad premonition, I slowly lifted my gaze—and met Seniel’s face, looking as though he had just woken up.
“Bibi?”
Seniel, now awake, glanced back and forth between his own arm and me in confusion.
A deep sigh escaped from within me. After getting so angry at him yesterday, I never imagined I’d face him like this today. Truly, not a single thing in this world ever went the way I wanted.
Suppressing another sigh, I greeted him.
“…Good morning.”
Now that my rational mind had returned, any desire to lash out at him had completely disappeared.
Him and me—we were both victims of Kid, after all.
I was still upset, but I no longer even had the energy to be angry. In fact, the more I took things out on Seniel, the more uncomfortable I felt inside, so it seemed better not to do it at all.
Seniel hurriedly got up. His pupils trembled slightly before he quickly climbed out of the bed with a face full of guilt.
“…I’m sorry.”
He looked at me as if he had more to say, but then slowly distanced himself.
Normally, he would have asked what happened, or at least tried to hold back tears. But strangely, today Seniel had no words and no expression.
With a darkened face, he said shortly,
“I’ll be going.”
He crossed the room and grabbed the doorknob. I stared at him with my mouth slightly open. Watching him, I realized that a person really could cry without shedding a single tear. He looked fragile—like he might shatter at any moment.
“Wait, Seniel.”
Without even thinking, I called out to stop him.
I got up from the bed and followed him. My body still wasn’t fully recovered, and my legs wobbled.
“W–Whoa?”
Startled, Seniel rushed over and caught me. His arms supported my upper body as he helped me stand.
“Ah… thank you.”
As Seniel carefully helped lift me, he seemed to notice something strange about my condition and widened his eyes, examining me again.
“Bibi, your fever…!”
“Ah… yes. I was actually a bit sick yesterday.”
Seniel’s expression darkened again. He looked sorry for not noticing I was ill—but at the same time, there was a faint trace of disappointment and betrayal that I hadn’t called for him.
‘Come to think of it… Seniel did say I could call him anytime if I was sick.’
Without meaning to, I had hurt him. An awkward silence filled the room once more. Biting his lip, Seniel reached his hand out toward me.
“I’ll heal you…”
It looked like he intended to treat me and then immediately run away, so I grabbed his arm and changed the subject.
“…Wait a moment. More importantly, aren’t you going to ask what happened last night?”
Seniel made a strangely wounded face. But instead of insisting, he answered after a brief pause.
“…I didn’t think I had the right to ask. I thought it would be better for you if I just left quickly…”
What am I supposed to do with such a softhearted person?
It might have been better for me if Seniel disappeared quickly—but seeing him act so submissive like this made my heart ache.
I took Seniel’s hand. The moment I did, the memories of last night flashed through my mind and I almost shuddered without realizing it. I was terrified of what might happen tonight, but I steeled myself. Even if I died, I wanted to die with dignity—without tormenting an innocent person.
‘That’s right. If I’m going to be angry, it should be at Kid, not at Seniel who’s only suffering because he couldn’t do anything.’
“I’m sorry about yesterday. I must have been oversensitive. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
Seniel’s eyes wavered. He looked guilty, as if telling me not to say such things.
“No. It was my fault.”
Usually, when someone responds to an apology with “No, it was my fault,” it sounds sarcastic—but Seniel truly meant it.
I almost told him it wasn’t his fault, but instead decided to find a way to apologize without aggravating his guilt.
“Then how about we say we were both at fault? Let’s shake hands to make peace.”
Tears instantly filled Seniel’s eyes. His pupils trembled as if he might burst into tears at any moment. He didn’t cry in the end, but it made anyone watching anxious.
Slowly, Seniel reached out and took my hand.
“Bibi shines so brightly… you make me feel small. You’re kind, warm…”
Hearing that from Seniel pricked my conscience. I had never really been warm to him.
‘All I’ve ever done is give him orders.’
If anything, I had acted selfishly just to survive.
I gave an awkward smile and shook his hand.
“I’m not that kind of person. I’m pretty selfish. I’m not warm to just anyone. Honestly, aren’t you the kinder one?”
“No, I’m…”
Seniel trailed off. The mood sank again. He wasn’t being shy—he just disliked receiving praise.
Eventually, he changed the subject to avoid the conversation.
“…Anyway, could I ask one favor? Since we’ve made up, I’d like to heal you.”
“Okay.”
Still surrounded by a faintly awkward atmosphere, a bright light formed in his hand.
The moment the light entered my body, the dizziness vanished at once. I felt not just healthy, but refreshed—completely restored to perfect condition.
So the reason I’d been able to play piano all day before without getting tired was really thanks to Seniel’s divine power.
Clenching and unclenching my fists, I marveled sincerely.
“Thank you. No matter how many times I see it, it’s amazing.”
If we weren’t so awkward and I were closer to Seniel, I would have begged him to show me more—but I forced myself to hold back and shook my head.
Seniel quietly observed my expression, then hesitantly asked,
“…Would you like to see more?”
His face somehow looked determined.
The sensible adult answer would have been to refuse—but the innocent curiosity inside me reared its head. I wanted to see more. And seeing how resolute he looked, as if he’d already prepared to show me, it felt rude to say no.
When I nodded, Seniel let out a tense breath.
One by one, pure white lights began to appear around me.
“…Wow.”
The lights floating around me turned into white butterflies. White flowers bloomed from the floor. A tall white tree rose up to the ceiling. The entire room transformed into a glowing forest.
White leaves fluttered down like petals. When I caught one, it melted away softly.
Staring at the tree in awe, I murmured,
“I didn’t know divine power could do things like this. What is it used for?”
Seniel glanced at the creation and shook his head slightly.
“It probably has no use. This is my first time using divine power like this. It’s just… for decoration.”
I held out my hand to a butterfly circling me, and it landed gently on my palm. Watching me, Seniel asked,
“…Do you like it?”
I turned to look at him. His face was full of nervous anticipation.
He’d done something he’d never done before just to cheer me up—there was no way I couldn’t like it. But the kinder Seniel was to me, the more uncomfortable I felt.
‘I tried to pair him with the heroine, but everything got messed up because of me. It feels like I stole her from him.’
I couldn’t find Ezet right now. Even if I managed to escape, if she never appeared, Seniel would continue to suffer. It felt like I had ruined his destined happiness.
“…I like it. It was beautiful to see. Thank you. This is enough.”
Relief spread across Seniel’s face.
“That’s a relief.”
With a faint smile, he looked genuinely reassured. At my words, the forest slowly began to disappear.
Seeing his brightened expression only made my heart more complicated. I resented him, pitied him, wished for his happiness—and yet felt like I had destroyed it.
“Shouldn’t you get going? It seems like a lot of time has passed.”
“Ah…”
Seniel checked the clock in surprise. It was already well past 7 a.m. Even if he left now, he’d probably be late—but instead of rushing out, he stared at me like a nervous puppy.
When I asked with my eyes if he had something to say, he spoke timidly.
“Bibi… then what should we do about dinner tonight…?”
What should we do? I hadn’t decided either. Considering last night’s disaster, I might die tonight anyway, so dinner might be pointless.
‘Still, it’s better to have insurance.’
Yesterday I’d been too hopeless to care, but now that I felt better, the will to live had returned.
“Let’s meet in the dining room tonight. I’ll be waiting.”
“…Yes!”
The moment I finished speaking, Seniel’s face brightened with a clear smile.
I couldn’t take my eyes off his shy, crescent-shaped eyes.
“Then I’ll see you this evening, Bibi. I’ll be going.”
Seniel smiled. That alone felt shocking. Even after he left, I stared at the empty space for a long time.
‘I said I’d prepare insurance, but how?’
Lying sprawled on the sofa, I tried to think of plans—but nothing came to mind.
I couldn’t take a ship, couldn’t flee by land, and hiding within the empire was impossible with so many temples that could track me.
‘Honestly, there’s also a high chance I’ll be dead before I can even plan anything.’
How on earth had I mistaken Kid for my mother? I was sick, but not to that extent.
‘…There’s no point thinking about what’s already done.’
In a single day, I had become a person with no plans and nothing to do, staring blankly at the wall.
In my past life, right before dying, I’d desperately wanted to play the piano—and that regret still remained. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be heading to the piano room now.
Having died once, I knew better than anyone what to do before death to avoid regrets. A benefit of being a “second-hand newbie,” perhaps.
‘This life, at least I’ll play piano to my heart’s content.’
Maybe I should slap Kid and die while I’m at it. I still regret not burning down my uncle’s house, so that’s worth considering too.
Sitting at the piano, I took a deep breath. The piece that came to mind was Chopin’s Ballade No. 1.
They say all of Chopin’s ballades were inspired by Goethe’s “Erlkönig”—the king trying to take a child, the father fleeing on horseback to save him.
It fit my situation perfectly.
‘Professors who used to call him “Shopang,” I hope you’re well.’
Your favorite student is starting to understand that child being chased all too well.
Tears welled up.
I prepared to play the first note.
The piece began with unison—both hands playing the same notes—like a narration of Goethe’s poem.
Who rides so late through night and wind?
“…”
Suddenly tears burst out. I thought I had accepted death calmly, but emotions flooded over me.
‘I miss Mom.’
Last night, even if it was a hallucination, Kid had looked like her.
Tears kept falling onto the keys.
‘I want to live.’
Even if I missed Mom, I didn’t want to meet her by dying like this. Anger at my helpless reality made the tears pour out.
‘I want to live.’
If my parents were watching me, I had to live on bravely. I wanted to live in a way that wouldn’t make them sad.
In my previous life, I died before even reaching my twenties. There were so many things I hadn’t done. After being diagnosed, I’d regretted so much. If I was given another chance to live, I’d vowed to seize it.
I couldn’t give up now.
With this healthy body, somehow, I had to survive.
