Chapter 03
Wow, that was really close.
My dad, standing suspiciously at the front door, pushed up his glasses and asked:
“Eve? Who came by?”
“Huh? That… it was just a traveling salesman. Yeah, a salesman.”
“A salesman? Why would a salesman come all the way out here… honestly.”
“R-right? I mean, the villagers in town are way richer than us, right?”
I broke out in a cold sweat and stood guard at the door so my dad wouldn’t open it.
Fortunately, my dad didn’t pay any attention to the suspiciously tightly closed door, the pair of women’s slippers lying around, or the “salesman” who had just left.
‘Phew… good thing Dad is a weapon maniac.’
Who would’ve thought his shocking lack of interest in anything except weapons—and me—would actually be useful in moments like this!
I left my dad busily moving around preparing dinner and quietly put the women’s shoes back into the shoe cabinet.
Alright, time to go cause business disruption again.
My dad, completely unaware that his adorable daughter had eaten a nice meal and was heading out to ruin his business, happily saw me off.
“Take care, sweetie~ Don’t talk to bad people.”
“Mm.”
“And don’t go hitting just anyone because you’re annoyed. Okay?”
“Mm, I said okay.”
Honestly, Dad really thinks I’m some kind of thug.
I’m just a cute little nuisance employee whose job is ruining her dad’s business.
“Alright, I’m off for real!”
At that moment, my dad grabbed the back of my neck after noticing something suspicious in my travel bundle.
“Eek—!”
“By the way, sweetie, why are you taking this when you’re just going out to play?”
My dad pulled out my Excalibur and looked at me in confusion.
No! My Excalibur!
I flailed my tiny arms and legs, jumping to snatch the sword back from his hands.
“Why are you taking it! It’s mine! Mine!”
“Why would you need this just to go out and play?”
“Umm… b-because I might run into bad people and have to teach them a lesson!”
I quickly spun a plausible excuse.
Did it work?
My dad looked between me and the sword suspiciously, then eventually handed it back with a meaningful expression.
“Alright, sweetie. Take care. Give Dad a kiss here.”
Mwah!
I quickly kissed his cheek. My dad grinned like a fool and patted my back.
“Don’t go too far!”
“Mm, I know!”
I left the house with my dad’s farewell behind me, carrying the Excalibur I would use for sabotage—and some thick cheese.
Where should I spread rumors about my dad’s swords today?
Sorry, Dad, but thanks to my diligent behind-the-scenes work, you get to live longer.
I comforted my pricking conscience by telling myself it’s all for the best.
About ten minutes later…
I was walking along a forest path near a tavern when—
Someone grabbed my shoulder roughly and spun me around.
“Eek—!”
“Hey, kid.”
What the—who is this?
Instinctively, I clutched the Excalibur my dad had given me and looked up.
And then I saw the man’s face.
‘…Wait! This guy is—?’
I don’t know him.
Hey, mister, why are you grabbing someone’s neck like that? Only my dad is allowed to do that.
I glared at him with defiant eyes.
At first I thought he might be one of those heroes from earlier since he called me “kid,” but no—he wasn’t.
Just a drunk.
‘Ugh, alcohol breath!’
As he shoved his filthy face closer to mine, the smell of alcohol hit me hard.
I grimaced and held my nose.
Ugh, what is going on today?
I should’ve taken another route.
Dad did warn me there are a lot of taverns around here and told me not to come this way.
I should’ve listened to adults.
Regretting not listening to my dad, I struggled to break free from his grip.
“Let go! Let go of me! If you don’t, I’ll scream!”
“Hey, kid. We’re a bit short on drinking money, so we’ll just borrow this for a day. Heh heh.”
The drunk man didn’t let go—instead, he reached greedily for my Excalibur.
No way!
Even though I always used to flop around in the marketplace telling everyone it was a useless piece of junk—
This is still the sword my dad personally made for me!
I hugged the Excalibur tightly so the drunk wouldn’t take it.
“Hey… don’t let go? Give it back!”
“I said let gooo! It’s mine—!”
I clung to the scabbard and screamed.
But I was no match for an adult man’s strength, and I could feel my arms slowly losing power.
‘No… I can’t let it be taken!’
Cold sweat ran down my back at the thought of losing my precious Excalibur.
This is something my dad made…
“MY PRECIOUS SWORD—!!”
In order to protect the sword my dad gave me, I slammed my head as hard as I could into the man’s groin.
“Ack—!!”
A scream echoed through the forest path lined with thick trees.
The man collapsed, clutching himself and trembling in agony.
‘Hmph. Should’ve let go earlier.’
I quickly grabbed Excalibur and tried to leave—
“Agh—!”
If another man hadn’t grabbed me by the neck again.
“You little brat… I was going easy on you because you’re a kid…”
“Let go! Let gooo!”
My luck is seriously terrible today.
I struggled harder, hugging the sword tightly.
The first drunk, now in a state of deep regret for his life choices, staggered forward while still holding himself.
“If an adult tells you to hand it over, you hand it over!”
He growled and struck me hard on the head.
For a moment, my vision went completely white.
I blinked, unable to process what just happened.
‘Did I… just get hit?’
I’d never even been hit by my dad before—was I seriously just hit by some random drunk?
The injustice and anger were unbearable. Why on earth was I the one getting hit?
Just as tears began to well up—
Flash—!
A burst of rainbow-colored light erupted from the Excalibur in the man’s hands.
“What the hell is that!!”
“Hey! If it glows like that, it must be expensive!”
Huh? It is expensive… but it’s not supposed to glow.
Why is it glowing?
And then—
Boom—!!
An explosion rang out from the sword, and the men standing around it were blasted backward.
“Uwaaagh!!”
“Ack!!”
In the chaos, I was the only one left unharmed.
Standing in the dust, I stared blankly at my sword as it continued bursting like fireworks.
‘…That looks like something you’re not supposed to touch.’
Wait—did this sword always have this kind of feature?
The men, apparently not tired at all despite being blown away, pointed at it again.
“Hey! Go grab it! That thing must be expensive!”
Isn’t your life more expensive than that sword?
Even I’m standing far away because I’m afraid it’ll explode…
I clicked my tongue as I watched them rush toward the exploding sword like moths to a flame.
And then—
Whoosh!
The sword flew straight into my hand.
‘…Huh?’
I looked down at Excalibur with a confused expression.
