Chapter 34
I widened my eyes at his unexpected words. It felt as though the tightly wound passage of time had suddenly loosened.
“You said you were attempting a smuggling escape in order to survive. I dared to think that this place would be the most dangerous for someone like you. I couldn’t bring myself not to come, worried that something might have happened.”
“……”
“It seems my concerns were excessive. I’m relieved that you’re safe.”
Ronan’s sincere worry made the tip of my nose sting. I suddenly remembered how I had once wished for Ronan to die and for the heroine to take his place, and I felt deeply sorry. Of course, I hadn’t truly wished for that—it was just frustration—but unlike me, Ronan was genuinely concerned for me.
‘I thought he came just to show that he’s obedient to my words because he owes me…’
I felt embarrassed for having dismissed him so lightly out of distrust. I pressed my lips together, then belatedly grabbed Ronan’s arm and helped him stand. He rose obediently.
“You don’t look well. Has something happened?”
I remained silent. I couldn’t tell Ronan what had happened.
Avoiding his persistent gaze, I took half a step back.
“Thank you for your concern, but nothing happened. And as you said, Sir Phylaxis, the reason I intended to smuggle myself out of this estate isn’t because of anything that occurred here.”
The words wavered in my mouth before coming out. My unsteady speech made it painfully obvious that I was making excuses. Feeling slightly guilty, I paused briefly before continuing.
“I suddenly felt unwell and couldn’t go out. I’m sorry for making the appointment and canceling it on my own.”
“It’s alright. Are you still in pain? Did you take any medicine?”
“…I’m feeling a bit better now.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
Silence fell between us. I knew this wasn’t the time to be lingering like this, but for some reason, the words wouldn’t come easily.
It was Ronan who broke the silence.
“What was the reason you wanted to see me?”
I couldn’t come up with an excuse right away. I glanced at his face, then lowered my gaze again. His usual gloomy eyes were gone, replaced by a serious, investigative look—like someone conducting an interrogation.
Tick, tick. The ticking of the second hand sounded unusually loud. Only then did I fully realize that time was passing. The fact that Ronan was here began to make me uneasy.
He was the person most likely to be on my side—but paradoxically, his presence here now frightened me the most.
I lifted my head and looked him straight in the eyes. With clearer pronunciation than before, the words came out quickly.
“I just wanted to apologize for the embarrassing behavior I showed last time. And to exchange proper greetings for future cooperation. There was no particular reason. I’m sorry for summoning a busy person unnecessarily.”
“You can call for me anytime.”
I didn’t even have time to be moved by his kindness. My eyes kept drifting toward the door.
“…Sir Phylaxis. Thank you for coming all the way here out of concern for me.”
I swallowed and lightly grasped the doorknob, tightening my hand as if I would open it immediately.
“I would like to talk more with you as well, but could you please return for now?”
I’ve been unwell, and unexpected visits like this could lead to misunderstandings about me. I’m not blaming you at all.
At my added words, Ronan flinched. His face stiffened as he apologized.
“That was absolutely not my intention. I’m sorry.”
While society wasn’t that conservative, it wasn’t free from suspicion either—so my words weren’t entirely wrong. However, I wasn’t saying this because I was truly worried about rumors involving Ronan. I was too focused on survival to care about gossip. This was simply to get him out quickly.
“I appreciate your concern for me, but I’d like you to avoid making assumptions about my household in the future. And… although you may not need to contact me separately, I’ll likely be busy for a while and may not be able to respond to your messages.”
“……”
“Once things are settled, I’ll reach out again.”
Perhaps understanding that I meant he shouldn’t do anything until then, Ronan remained silent for a moment. When I turned around to look at him to hear his reply, he finally spoke.
“Am I not even allowed to receive information about escape routes?”
Even if escape routes existed, they were useless to me right now—at least until I knew exactly who was on the other side.
“…Please inform me of that as well when I contact you again. It will be difficult for the time being.”
I turned away again. Out of my sight, Ronan bit his lip tightly. I pulled the door wide open.
“I was the one who made the appointment, so I’m sorry to send you away like this.”
“…No. I should be the one apologizing for coming unannounced.”
“It’s alright.”
Shaking my head, I quickly walked ahead and personally escorted Ronan to the front gate of the estate. I could have left it to the butler, but I felt uneasy. If Seniel and Ronan happened to meet, something ominous might occur.
The carriage Ronan had boarded slowly departed. Only then did I exhale deeply. I composed my expression. I had confirmed that there were no spies within the estate, but I still couldn’t relax.
‘Seniel might see Ronan’s carriage leaving the estate.’
Even if she did, it wouldn’t cause a major problem—but it still left an unpleasant feeling. Everything just felt unsettling.
Keeping a neutral expression, I watched the carriage disappear into the distance before turning away.
Hurban approached me.
“Ma’am, I apologize for the commotion earlier in handling the situation. I will inform the master that a friend of yours visited. I will also ensure the servants keep their mouths shut.”
Hurban whispered with an expression that seemed determined to guard a secret. It was as if he had witnessed an affair but chose to remain silent for the sake of peace.
“I only have my husband.”
Hurban bowed his head, his attitude clearly saying, “Of course, ma’am.”
“Please ensure no unnecessary rumors spread.”
“Understood.”
Feeling exhausted, I waved him off. I opened the dining room door and slumped into my usual seat. Collapsing limply into the chair, I stared blankly into space.
‘Will the blackmailer immediately respond to today’s events? If so, he’d have to be insane.’
I had obediently canceled the appointment and stayed home as the blackmailer demanded. Ronan came to visit—I didn’t invite him—so this wasn’t my fault.
‘At least tonight he won’t be able to report me to Kid. How would he even report it?’
Facing an invisible enemy was exhausting. I almost wanted to just say, “Let’s both die,” and tell Kid everything right now. For about ten seconds, I seriously considered it—but then gave up. That was far too dangerous.
‘If Kid hears something from the blackmailer and comes to kill me, I could try to persuade him then. That would be the safest option.’
Making moves without any information was the fastest way to shorten one’s lifespan.
‘If I had even a little more information about Joel, I might be able to negotiate with Kid.’
With the little information I had now, trying to approach Kid was like sticking my head into a lion’s mouth. Just mentioning Joel would be the same as loudly declaring, “I know you were experimented on, and I know who the mastermind is.”
‘Why are there already so many things making my life difficult—and now Joel is added on top of it all?!’
I slammed the table in frustration.
At that moment, the door clicked open. The only person who would enter the dining room was Seniel. I took a deep breath, barely suppressing my irritation, and straightened my posture.
