Chapter 41
Seniel hadn’t even tried to hide this situation from me.
At the same time I felt upset, a pointless resentment welled up inside me.
Seriously—if you were going to make such a difficult promise about helping me, you shouldn’t have made it at all. You could’ve just cried in front of me and said you were struggling. Why go through all this alone and end up doing something reckless?
Tears quietly fell from Seniel’s eyes.
“As long as I’m alive, Bibi can never be safe.”
I tried to persuade him.
“Because Kid… is the one who even killed my father. No one can stop him.”
His words were like a ticking time bomb, and I swallowed everything I was about to say. I had never expected to hear something so close to the core of his past. The shock made the back of my head go numb.
“I’ll make sure nothing ever harms Bibi. He’s never discovered me, not even once. Just this once… please let it go.”
Seniel couldn’t bring himself to look at me any longer and squeezed his eyes shut. He looked like a believer who had just finished confessing his sins.
I tried to say something, but my lips trembled. My mouth opened, but no sound came out.
So… I’ve driven someone to this point.
Seniel’s past wasn’t something easily found even in the original story. That meant it was something he couldn’t even bear to speak of.
And yet, the fact that he had brought it up himself meant he had reached his limit—he had grown desperate.
Like when he could no longer endure himself, when everything became unbearable, when all he wanted was to give up and die… just like in the original story.
Maybe I wasn’t the only cause of this. But I couldn’t deny my involvement either. After all, I had shaken him far earlier than in the original timeline.
Someone who wasn’t supposed to live had continued living.
And because of that, I had changed the ending.
The conscience and morality I had pushed aside for survival, and the affection that had grown without me noticing, began to swell inside me.
At this point, it wouldn’t be wrong to call him a friend.
And by surviving, I had altered that friend’s fate. This friend, who kept looking after me, might suffer for the rest of his life—continuing these futile experiments, destroying his own body.
No—even without assuming “a lifetime.”
He was already suffering right beside me like this.
I… I couldn’t even comfort him. I couldn’t do anything for him. And now, I couldn’t even change the ending.
I might somehow survive.
But what about him?
What about this naive Seniel, who doesn’t even know anything?
Of course, if we really traced the cause of all this, I was a victim too.
Kid was the only true perpetrator.
When I remained silent for too long, Seniel slowly opened his tightly shut eyes.
* * *
Seniel froze halfway through opening his eyes.
Below his gaze, he saw the top of Bibi’s pink hair.
Bibi had suddenly stepped into his arms.
She herself was just as startled by her actions. She didn’t know what she had been thinking. No—more accurately, she hadn’t been thinking at all. She had acted purely on impulse.
Maybe she had picked up a strange habit from Kid. Even though it was impulsive, she didn’t pull away from Seniel.
If anything, she hugged him even tighter.
Though she didn’t want to admit it, perhaps a part of her hoped that the “hug therapy” that had worked on Kid might work here too.
Seniel couldn’t bring himself to hug her back.
He had already spoken of the murders Kid committed, even knowing she might be disgusted. It was over.
Of course it was. He had hidden something so insane—there was no way he could ever receive that warm gaze from her again.
He could have lied, but from the moment he faced Bibi, the lies wouldn’t come out. It felt like all his defenses had been stripped away.
Worried that she might be uncomfortable, Seniel tried not to touch her.
But the more he did, the more Bibi pressed closer.
“…Bibi.”
Bibi, who had been resting her face against his chest, lifted her head. Seniel’s eyes widened again. He was so shocked he couldn’t even say her name properly this time.
“Seniel. I… I’m sorry.”
Clear tears rolled down Bibi’s cheeks. Seeing them, it felt as if Seniel’s heart dropped straight to the ground.
“No—no. Bibi, you have nothing—nothing to apologize for…”
The shock stopped his tears. Flustered, he raised his hand toward her face, trying to wipe her tears away—but in the end, his hand couldn’t reach her.
Because he believed he had no right to comfort her.
Bibi grabbed his hand.
Then she pulled it around her waist.
Seniel, unable to resist at all, stiffly followed her lead.
Seeing his flustered state, Bibi let out a sob and spoke as if making a confession between her cries.
“Honestly… I don’t think I can make you happy… but still… I’ll survive, no matter what… so I won’t make things harder for you.”
Realistically, that was the only comfort Bibi could offer him.
The original ending was already beyond reach. A strange blackmailer had become involved. Ronan was still alive, diligently working as a holy knight. Ezet had become wealthy, and his resentment toward the Holy Knights wasn’t as strong as before.
In other words, there was no longer any reason to risk his life to fight Kid for revenge.
If Bibi had been a brilliant strategist or a persuasive speaker, maybe she could have resolved this situation.
But all she could do was barely cling to her own life—and play the piano a little.
It felt so pathetic. So selfish.
After saying it out loud, Bibi felt so ashamed of herself that she cried even harder.
“…Please don’t cry. This is all my fault. Bibi. I won’t do this again—never again. I was wrong.”
His apology only made Bibi feel more miserable.
Why are you the one apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong…
Sobbing, she buried her face back into his chest.
The mental strength she had been desperately holding onto collapsed completely.
She had thought she could do anything to survive—but in the end, she was still human. She couldn’t suppress her compassion and guilt forever.
The more Bibi cried, the more Seniel’s chest felt like it was being torn apart.
He tried to understand why she was apologizing—so he could tell her it wasn’t her fault.
But no matter how he thought about it, he was the one at fault. Bibi had done nothing wrong.
He kept saying he would stop the experiments, thinking that was why she was upset—but she didn’t stop crying.
Then her words resurfaced in his mind.
“I’ll survive… so I won’t make things harder for you.”
If he had to guess, she thought that because of her, he was suffering—unhappy.
But he had just told her that he was someone who had killed even his own father.
…There was no way she could be worrying about him.
Seniel clenched his teeth, trying to steady himself.
But Bibi didn’t give him the chance.
“Don’t… do things like this alone… even if it doesn’t help me… just tell me when you’re struggling. Okay? Just say it.”
“….”
“Don’t make people worry like this.”
…Did I make you worry?
I’m someone who threatens you. What about me makes you feel this way?
Bibi glared up at him slightly, as if demanding an answer.
Got it?
The question pressed him for a response.
Seniel wanted to ask if she didn’t find him horrifying—if it didn’t matter that he was someone who had killed even his own father.
But he was too afraid to ask.
And the fact that she had hugged him at all—it was already more than he deserved.
“…From now on, I will. I’m sorry.”
“Forget sorry. It’s fine. We’re both just…”
Pitiful.
Bibi swallowed the rest of her words.
At some point, her sobbing began to subside.
After stopping her tears, Bibi tried to roughly wipe her face with her hands, but Seniel instinctively stopped her. Carefully, he cupped her face with both hands and gently wiped away the remaining tears with his thumbs.
The careful touch made Bibi feel strangely unsettled.
As Seniel wiped her tears, their eyes met—and he apologized again.
“…I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
For a moment, Bibi found herself thinking how beautiful his red eyes were.
Being this close, their gaze had an almost hypnotic pull.
Snapping back to her senses, Bibi quickly grabbed his hands to shake off the strange feeling. When that wasn’t enough, she hurriedly changed the subject.
“…By the way, aren’t you hungry?”
